Social media, let’s be best friends forever

Hey, social media, it’s only been a few minutes since we last talked, but I have something new to share with you. This year, this Thanksgiving, I want you, social media, to know that the number one thing I’m thankful for is you.

Sure, we’ve known each other for a few years, but 2010 felt different. Don’t think it has anything to do with that movie you starred in. Honestly, it felt like we really became best friends this year, considering how much more we hung out together. Are you really surprised? You’re there when I turn on my computer in the morning and when I shut my eyes at night. You’re there, waiting patiently in my pocket, whenever I’m far from home. And when I get home from a long day at work, there you are, beaming brightly, up for anything.

On the weekend, when I go out to a cool new dive bar or Mexican restaurant, I’m always eager to make sure you know. And no matter how terrible the bartender is or how delicious the burritos are, aren’t you always the first to hear about it? Even when I left the Earth’s atmosphere and had the profound infinity of the universe surrounding me, I just couldn’t stop thinking about you.

Social media, sometimes I wish I could just stay in bed and hang out with you all day.

But, as we both know, the holidays are about actually getting out of bed, putting clothes on, going out into the real world, and seeing those people we call family and friends on Facebook. Sometimes it even involves flying across the country, always a huge pain. And here I am, ditching you to fly a thousand miles just for some dry turkey and drier football, dreading all the time we’ll lose together, and you, social media, think only about helping others. You somehow find the time to warn me that airport security might try to touch my junk. Thanks for the heads up.

It wouldn’t be the first time you stood up for me and my friends, social media. I’ll never forget how you responded to the recent tragedies in the LGBT community: you somehow managed to organize millions of people to wear purple one day, just to make people feel comfortable with their own sexuality. That really meant a lot to me.

You just care about people. It seems like you genuinely want to change the world. Sure, John Lennon sang about peace and all that good stuff, but you’re serious about actually getting things done. Nothing makes you more angry than apathy, so you made sure nobody could forget to vote on Election Day. I know I voted! I’ll admit, I find it a little creepy that you already knew how everyone would vote, but I guess that’s the power of a real friend. A real friend listens and doesn’t forget, and that’s why I’m thankful you exist.

No, you’re not perfect. No one is, social media, you know this.

Some people have found themselves in very serious trouble just for hanging around you. That’s not right, but I don’t think it’s your fault.

Sometimes I think you’re a little too obsessed with my friendships with other people (do you really need to know when I first friended every person in my network?), but that’s the kind of friend you are. You always want to know what’s up, you care about my life a lot. Just relax a little bit. Don’t think you have to know everything about me!

I get it, I get it. It’s not about you, it’s about me and my friends. You even went out of your way to find out what all my friends want to receive as gifts for the holidays. You’re world-class. And what do you get in return? Not much. Even after hearing us cry and moan about our breakups all day and after repeatedly seeing us tagged in pictures documenting us at our drunkest, you’re still ready to play the cool new game on the block.

Oh, social media, you’re the best friend ever. Happy Thanksgiving!

(main image source.)