This is a very sensitive time for Apple as it waits to find out the general consensus on iOS 7. Will the people love it or will they hate it? Downloads have been off the charts as people scramble to see how Apple has torn down and rebuilt iOS—
Wait. Wait. Hang on. This just in: iOS 7 sucks. So sayeth Miley:
So I guess that’s it then. Good effort, people. Let’s pack it in and meet back here this time next year.
True story: I actually checked Apple’s stock to see if it had nosedived. I was genuinely expecting to see a huge drop as shareholders and Wall Street analysts clapped the dust from their hands and said “welp. That’s that.”
So Miley doesn’t like iOS 7. We should all take her proclamation with a grain of salt, since she’s speaking from a place of hurt and anger right now. She did just break up with Liam Hemsworth, who recently unfollowed her on Twitter shortly after the twerking chaos at the VMAs. And now he’s off gallivanting with a Mexican telenovella star! (#ThisIsWhatIDoAllDay)
It seems trivial, but Miley (we’re totes BFFs on a first-name basis now) has nearly 14 million followers, so if you’re a prominent consumer product company, a negative review from Miley could be the kiss of death. As we speak, the word is spreading among all those 14 million fans and their friends…like a zombie virus.
But if there’s one group of assholes that's worse than Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift fans, it’s Apple fans. So now the standard refrain seems to be “@MileyCyrus I hate you.” Way to stick it to the 90-pound blonde ex-Disney star, dude in aviator glasses showing off his six-pack—and who apparently follows Miley Cyrus on Twitter.
Two of my favorites:
In happier news, Miley likes iTunes Radio. I guess?...
But iOS 7 in general makes her want to take off her pants and bra and lick a sledgehammer.
Conan O’Brien also weighed in on iOS 7: