The Candy Crush movie arrives, courtesy of Steven Colbert

Steven Loeb · November 11, 2015 · Short URL:

Activision bought King for $.5.9B, before debuting its own movie and TV studio last week

Last week two things happened in quick succession that, frankly, made me pretty worried.

First, Activision bought Candy Crush studio King for a whopping $5.9 billion. Then, just a few days later, it announced that it was launching Activision Blizzard Studios, a new film and television studio will be "devoted to creating original content based on the company's extensive library of iconic and globally-recognized intellectual properties."

It doesn't take a genius to see what could possibly happen next: the dreaded (GULP) Candy Crush Movie. Hollywood has already made a movie out of Battleship, and already has plans to make both a Monopoly and Candy Land movie. How far behind can Candy Crush be?

Now here's where it gets interesting: last night I was in bed watching Steven Colbert when he suddenly out of nowhere, he made my nightmare come true!

"Clearly it's only a matter of time before Activision makes a movie out of Candy Crush," Colbert said, before launching a pre-recorded clip of what exactly the Candy Crush movie would look like.

It's as horrifying as you'd imagine, with references to all those things that Candy Crush players have come to love, and probably loathe: triple color bomb combos, the jelly fish, lollipop hammers and liquorice swirls.

The best thing about it is that Colbert got Liam Neeson to play Mr. Toffee and say lines like, "It's ok son, you've given an old man his final sugar rush," and "I had a good life. I spent my spent my best years crushing candy. And, yes, as I crushed I would sometimes think, 'This is a huge waste of time.'"

The funniest part of the clip comes at the end (spoiler alert!) where Mr. Toffee is dying and telling his son he loves him, when a window pops up asking him to pay 99 cents to keep playing. Colbert declines, Mr. Toffee dies, but he vows to "crush on in his memory," and to share his high score on Facebook.

The clip is ridiculous, and hilarious, but, please, let it never go any further than this.

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