Bob Parsons shoots an elephant...and likes it

Parsons is known for his controversial image, but does his elephant-killing and racism go too far?

Happy Friday, everyone! Who's up for some big game hunting? 

Bob Parsons, CEO and founder of domain registrar GoDaddy.com (and the Go Daddy Group), is coming under fire for shooting and killing an elephant in Zimbabwe--and even moreso for posting a video of it on YouTube, with AC/DC's "Hell's Bells" playing in the background and Zimbabwean villagers wearing Go Daddy swag. Now, Parsons appears to be going on a PR tour to clear his name and explain that the killing was necessary. And fun. But is anyone surprised that a 60-year-old man who still thinks it's cool to wear an earring in one ear is stirring up trouble? 

As Parsons explained in several interviews, his actions were actually a heroic effort to save the lives of an entire Zimbabwean village from imminent starvation. A particularly problematic herd was trampling the vollage's crops, and they called on Bob to come out with his big-ass guns and take care of the problem. Because when a village of Zimbabwean people can't take care of a problematic animal species that they've lived with their entire lives, it makes sense to call out a rich white American who grew up in Baltimore, Maryland to come save them. (See the Pater Familia picture above.)

To no one's surprise, PETA is up in arms. The group, which is often the subject of controversy itself, has taken up a campaign to boycott GoDaddy.com and flood Parsons' email inbox with members' rage. The group's statement reads: 

Parsons is hiding behind the lame claim that killing elephants helps farmers in Africa whose crops are damaged by the animals. In fact, there are ample effective and nonlethal methods to deter elephants from crops, including using chili-infused string and beehives on poles to create low-cost "fences." Instead of coming up with flimsy excuses for killing these highly intelligent and social animals, Parsons should use his wealth to fund humane solutions to human/elephant conflicts.

PETA has also awarded Parsons the "Scummiest CEO of the Year" award, and Parsons couldn't be more delighted with himself. So what happens when forces clash between an obnoxious CEO and an equally obnoxious activism group? A whole lotta misinformation. 

Parsons maintains that his killing of the elephant was an act of heroism: "In Zimbabwe, elephant are not endangered. There's actually too many of them. The people there are very impoverished. The poverty is beyond our imagination. They have nothing...If they don't get a crop, they starve to death." By the way, that's not a typo. He refers to animals with complex family structures and mourning rituals like you would refer to "corn" or "cabbage."

In an iconic moment of American paternalism and racist condescension, Parsons lovingly describes the people of Africa: "The people are sweet, they're the most wonderful people in the world. They're pretty special. So to see them in that situation, it's heart-wrenching."

Hence, the loving but firm American patriarch goes to Africa to shoot him up some elephants to protect his ignorant children. Awesome. Way to set us back 300 years, Bob. 

While PETA insists that there are more humane ways of driving the elephants away, Parsons insists that nothing else works. I'm calling bullshit on both of them. As I--and I'm sure most of the VatorNews readers--did not grow up with elephants trampling my crops, I don't presume to know how to take care of that problem. With little government infrastructure in place to remedy such a problem, it's quite possible that the people of Zimbabwe have no other recourse but to kill the problem elephants. But I'm also thinking...Bob Parsons just likes shooting stuff. 

It's worth noting that all this time he's been explaining away the elephant, he hasn't mentioned why he also shot and killed a leopard. Go Daddy hasn't responded to my inquiries on the matter. 

But Bob Parsons is no stranger to controversy. He's been blasted by feminist groups for his use of busty blonds for marketing, and he's come under fire for Go Daddy's controversial Super Bowl ads. So what's next for the controversial CEO? The answer is obvious: Bob Parsons drowns a cat. 

Image source: smallbusiness.aol.com