Top 10 reasons why Yahoo's board should be fired

Because padding a resume when you're a CEO is dumb, but overlooking a CEO's padded resume is dumber

Oh, Yahoo.  You so crazy. 

Yahoo is like the girl you avoid at girls’ night because she always gets drunk and starts crying…but secretly you like it.  

Like…I would never hang out with Yahoo, but I sure loves me some Yahoo drama. 

If the latest “resume-gate” snafu isn’t enough to convince you that Yahoo’s board of directors isn’t up to snuff, then maybe you should take a gander at the company’s performance record over the last couple of years.  Flagging income, mass layoffs, a CEO fired over the phone—who then took to the media to rage about the incompetent board with plenty of F-bombs thrown in for fun, and now a CEO who broke the one rule that any recruiter will tell you not to break: padding your resume.

Next to staying under two pages, it’s one of the most basic rules of resume writing.  But more importantly, how the hell did Scott Thompson make up a degree—one that wasn’t even offered when he was attending Stonehill College—and not get caught during the vetting process?

And so, I present to you the top ten reasons why Yahoo’s entire board of directors should be fired:

10) They probably falsified their own resumes by including “detail oriented” under their list of skills.

9) They believed Scott Thompson when he told them that he couldn’t give them his college transcripts because they were “lost in the cloud.”

8) They probably also didn’t verify whether or not Scott Thompson is a “team player” with “good communication skills.”

7) Because Thompson made up a degree!  How did they miss that?

6) Since finding another CEO will be hard, they’ll probably just lay off the company’s remaining 12,000 employees and thereby purge any and all witnesses.

5) See number 7.

4) If Scott Thompson lied about having a computer science degree, what else has he lied about?  Was he even born in the U.S.?  Why won’t he release his birth certificate?  And if he does release his birth certificate, would the board verify that it was a real document and not a forgery? 

3) What's Carly Fiorina doing these days?...

2) How many other employees were hired for their imaginary computer science degrees?  How many were fired before anyone realized that their degrees were made up?

And the number one reason why the Yahoo board of directors should be fired…

1) If they do fire Scott Thompson, they’ll probably replace him with an even more drama-prone CEO, hijinks will ensue, and after a disastrous bake sale, a cute 80s-style montage, and finally facing down the school bully, they’ll realize that Carol Bartz was the right CEO for them all along.