For the first time ever: watch the Oscars online

But the Academy keeps it sufficiently low-tech: only available for 48 hours, and no YouTube

The day after the Superbowl is like the day after Christmas. The world emits a collective: “Now what?!” –At which point the Oscars swoop in to be the New Year’s Eve to the Superbowl’s Christmas.

This year, the Academy is making an effort—however weak—to catch up to the 21^st century by making the entire Oscars broadcast available online for the first time ever. But there are a couple of catches: 1) the broadcast will only be available for a limited time—as in two days, and 2) it’s only available on Hulu, ABC.com, and the ABC app—no YouTube, Netflix, Amazon, etc.

“Tonight’s show included remarkable performances that will surely have people talking. This is an easy, convenient way for anyone who missed the show to catch up and join the conversation,” said Karin Gilford, ABC’s SVP of Digital Media, in a statement. “It’s also perfect for anyone who just wants to relive the most magical moments of the night.”

Those remarkable performances included an opening musical number called “We Saw Your Boobs.”

I will admit: I never actually watch the Oscars, but I always look forward to the next day’s rag fest. Like, what was up with Kristen Stewart looking like she picked herself up off the floor of an opium den and got dressed up? And did Anne Hathaway really not see the weird nipple cones produced by the folds in her dress, or did she just willfully ignore them? Because everybody else noticed them, resulting in the creation of two fake Twitter accounts: @AnnesNipples (because the Internet likes to keep it classy like that).

If you didn’t catch the Oscars, you can see clips of the show on ABC.com, but the full broadcast is on Hulu and Hulu Plus. You have until midnight EST on February 27 to watch—go! (Note: clips do not include Jennifer Lawrence tripping on the stairs on her way up to the stage—where the ONLY person to come help her was Hugh Jackman, because he’s a f&@%ing mensch!)

So, note to the Academy: a mobile app and a two-day online grace period do not a digital strategy make. Get your damn act together.

In other digital news, the Oscars accounted for 8.9 million tweets before and during the broadcast. The most tweeted moments included “Argo” winning for Best Picture with 85,300 tweets per minute, followed by Adele singing “Skyfall” with 82,300 TPM.