Happy Valentine’s Day! What’s that? You’re single? Because the love of your life died while rescuing a bunch of nuns and puppies from a flaming bus crash—on Valentine’s Day?
Buck up! There’s plenty more fish in the sea!
I know what you’re going to say— “But only Jimmy shared my appreciation for obscure Indie rock bands and skinny jeans! Now I’ll die alone!”
Don’t fret. There’s someone for everyone. Now, 20 years ago, it might’ve taken you a long time to find that special someone that shares your weird, embarrassing interests, but today, there’s a social network for everything—which means you now have a way to drill down and find the man/woman of your dreams quickly and efficiently.
So for those of you who are on the single’s list this Valentine’s Day, we’re here to help you make your love connection.
Behold! Social networks for…
There are lots of cat lovers out there. There’s a smaller fraction of people who love cats enough to join a cat-loving community—but they’re out there. (I kind of want to say that cat lovers are a special breed of weird in themselves…) Case-in-point: UnitedCats, which bills itself as “probably the best cat community in the world.” You know…probably. Members can create profiles, join clubs, participate in cat-related discussions, and shop for virtual gifts. It also boasts a “Cat of the Week” photo.
Of course, if you’re more of a hamster buff or goldfish aficionado, there’s something for you too. Cuteness.com is a community for all pet lovers—be they cat lovers or snake lovers—as well as a shopping forum. Members can make profiles for their pets, upload pics and videos, hang out in the “Dog Park,” play games, and shop in the pet store.
Wouldn’t that be called eBay? No! There is a very real, if very rudimentary social network for antique collectors called I Antique Online. I thought maybe there was some kind of spelling error and they meant to say “iAntique Online,” but no… it’s “I antique” as in an action…
With the advent of MMOGs, it became easier than ever to meet fellow gamers. But let’s say you don’t just want to find someone to play with—you want to find someone to share your life with, someone you can talk to about your quests, someone who will bring you Pop Tarts when you’re in the zone and can’t get up to eat. For those who want to connect with other gamers who share the gamer’s lifestyle, there’s Duxter, a social haven for gamers that came out of private beta in November. The social network comes with all the essentials: a news feed, social profiles, notifications, and the ability to add friends, but it also comes with quests, game trailers, and more. Duxter is a place to find like-minded gamer friends, new games—and perhaps find love?...
Damn right there’s a social network for knitters. Ravelry.com is a network devoted exclusively to knitted, crocheting, and other crafts—and it recently landed itself in some hot water with the U.S. Olympics Committee. The committee cracked down on the site with a cease and desist letter last summer after Ravelry hosted its third annual “Ravelympics”—a series of knitting competitions that include the “afghan marathon” and “scarf hockey.” So if you have a proclivity for knitting, crocheting, and copyright infringement, you might find your one-and-only someone at Ravelry.com.
Action Figure Collectors
Have a mint-in-the-box-Aquaman-action-figure fetish? It’s not my bag, but I’m not here to judge. If you’re having a tough time finding someone who appreciates an unopened box as much as you do, there’s Curicon.com, a Pinterest-like site for collectors of all shapes and sizes.
Maybe you’re not looking for romance at all—maybe you’re just looking for someone to make babies with. Why waste time on the mess and fuss of dating, with the stress of calling, awkward first kisses, and so on—when all you really want to know is, is this person a genetic carrier for Huntington’s Disease? Does he have a family history of asthma or peanut allergies? What were his SAT scores? Yeah, you could find those things out over the course of a few months of dating, but time’s a wastin’!
Never fear, your one-and-only-reproductive-someone is out there, and you can find him/her on a site like Modamily—a social platform for finding a co-parent or sperm donor. On Modamily, you can find potential co-parents, get their health and fertility histories, and even work out elaborate contracts for the upbringing of any child conceived via your arrangement. In other words: it’s @$&*ing brilliant.
For everyone else…
If I didn’t cover you and your particular interests, don’t worry. There is someone for you, and you too will find love. This Valentine’s Day, raise your freak flag and revel in your own oddities.
Image source: cloudfront.net